New Dating Dictionary

ATTRACTION.. ... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT..... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING...... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL..... . avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY..... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT..... . a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND..... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE. .... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING. .... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT..... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY.. ... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC. .... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER..... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

How true these laws are???

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".

Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead!! I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?”

She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!”

Husband:” That’s it. We are happy ever after.

TRUE INSPIRING STORY. WHEN A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN'T

This is a true story that happened in Japan.

In order to renovate the house,

Someone in Japan breaks open the wall.

Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between
The wooden walls.

When tearing down the walls, he found that
There was a lizard stuck there

Because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet.

He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious,
As when he checked the nail,

It was nailed 5 years ago when the house was first built !!!

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 5 years!

In a dark wall partition for 5 years without moving,
It is impossible and mind-boggling.

Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 5 years!
Without moving a single stepsince its foot was nailed!

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard,
What it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating.

Later, not knowing from where it came, appears another lizard,
With food in its mouth.

Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply.

For the lizard that was stuck by nail,
Another lizard has been feeding it for the past 5 years...

Imagine? It has been doing that untiringly for 5 long years,
Without giving up hope on its partner.

Imagine what a small creature can do
That a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.

Please never abandon your loved ones

Lesson from the Story:

Never Say you are Busy When They Really Need You ...

You May Have The Entire World At Your Feet.

But You Might Be The Only World To Them..

A Moment of negligence might break the very heart
Which loves you through all odds..

Before you say something just remember..
It takes a moment to Break
But an entire lifetime to make...

SUCCESS

Success, by definition, means achieving your objectives. Thus, a successful person must be an individual that accomplishes his objectives more often than he fails to do so. Success is largely defined by measures such as wealth, position or status. In addition, success is measured by one's capabilities.

Usually the word success is used interchangeably with financial success. This is the main reason for the fallacy that a successful person must be rich. In many cases money may be only a by-product of success. For example, a painter who has achieved his goal of masterfully illustrating his vision on a canvas is successful regardless of anybody offering a $1,000,000 for it.

The most common misconception about success is that people think that it will automatically bring happiness. Although any success will temporarily make you happy, it does not guarantee you overall happiness in life. There are many financially successful businessmen who are very unhappy individuals, and there are millions of deprived people who are totally content and satisfied with their lives. This is because while success is about achievements only, happiness is about how we feel about our achievements and how we got them.

THINK ABOUT IT--WHICH TO FOLLOW

All good things come to those who wait........
BUT.....Time and tide never wait for a man.

The pen is mightier than the sword............. ..
BUT.....Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike.........................................
BUT.....Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free.........................
BUT.....There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Slow and steady wins the race........................
BUT.....Time waits for no man.

Look before you leap..........................................
BUT.....Strike while the iron is hot.

Do it well,or not at all..........................................
BUT.....Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of same feathers flock together.............
BUT.....Opposites attract.

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them...
BUT...Forewarned is forearmed.

Too many cooks spoil the broth.......................
BUT.....Many hands make work light.

All are true, but which to follow ???????????

Crop Circles - Unexplained Mystery

I got this images since I am member of Xcitefun.net Community

It is really mysterious

Don't you think??

You can share if you know something about it!